Joseph, Did You Know?

Dec. 1, 2022

St. Joseph’s response to Mary’s pregnancy reveals the heart of his mission as a husband and father

By Joe Heschmeyer

Dec. 1, 2022

A detail from The Marriage of Mary, St. Martin Church in Unteressendorf, Germany / Zvonimir Atletić / Alamy Stock Photo

DURING ADVENT, the Sunday readings focus our attention on the coming of the Savior. We are familiar with Mary’s fiat, her “yes” to becoming the mother of Jesus. Less clear is what Joseph thought when he learned that Mary was pregnant though they had had no relations. Matthew’s Gospel says that Mary’s “husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to send her away quietly” (1:19). So what does Joseph suspect has happened, why does he resolve to send Mary away, and how does his decision reveal him to be a “just man”?

The usual answer is that Joseph suspects Mary of adultery, and he is “just” either for wanting to divorce her (thereby following the Mosaic law) or else for wanting the divorce to occur quietly (thereby protecting Mary from public humiliation or even stoning).

Yet St. Thomas Aquinas, in his commentary on Matthew, offers another possible reading: “According to Jerome and Origen, he had no suspicion of adultery. For Joseph knew Mary’s chastity; he had read in the Scriptures that a virgin will conceive (Is 7:14), and … he also knew that Mary was descended from David. Hence, he more easily believed that this had been fulfilled in her than that she had fornicated. And therefore, considering himself unworthy to live with such great sanctity, he wished to hide her away, just as Peter said, Depart from me, O Lord, for I am a sinful man (Lk 5:8).”

Is this just wishful thinking, or is there something more to this interpretation?

Let’s start with the first part: that Joseph knew Mary’s chastity. According to Jewish wedding practices, Joseph is already married to Mary at the time of the Annunciation — he is her “husband Joseph,” although they didn’t yet live together. At the time, there were anywhere from three to 12 months between the kiddushin, the marriage contract, and nissuin, when the groom made a place for the bride and they began their life together. During this time, the couple could have sexual relations without sinning, and the child would be considered legitimate.

But even though Mary and Joseph could have relations, they didn’t. And when told by the angel she will conceive and bear a son, Mary asks, “How can this be, since I know not man?” (Lk 1:34). She is not saying she’s about to become an unwed mother, but rather a virgin mother, which is a very different thing indeed.

In any case, her question is an unusual one for a wife to ask when told that she’s going to have a baby. St. Augustine notes that Mary would not have said what she did “unless she had before vowed herself unto God as a virgin.” In other words, Joseph and Mary weren’t planning to have typical marital relations, so she was perplexed when told she would bear a child. Mary was already pledged as a virgin, Augustine writes, and was “espoused to a just man, who would not take from her by violence, but rather guard against violent persons, what she had already vowed.”

If Mary is committed to virginity, and Joseph knows and supports this decision, it changes how we read the Advent story — particularly if we remember that Jews at the time of Christ were awaiting a Messiah who would be born of a virgin. Joseph trusted Mary, and the prophecy of Isaiah, rather than assuming the worst of his bride.

But why divorce? For much the same reason that St. Peter tells Jesus to leave. He doesn’t feel worthy to be in the presence of such awe-inspiring holiness. Yet Jesus tells Peter, “Do not be afraid” (Lk 5:10). The angel who appears to Joseph also tells him, “Do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home” (Mt 1:20). The implication seems to be that Joseph has a reverent fear of Mary’s holiness.

To be clear, this is not the only acceptable reading of Matthew’s account, but it is one that’s worthy of serious reflection — especially as we look to St. Joseph as a preeminent model of fidelity and protector of the Church.

*****

JOE HESCHMEYER is a staff apologist for Catholic Answers and the author of A Man Named Joseph: Guardian for Our Times (Our Sunday Visitor, 2021). He is also a husband, the father of two children, and a member of the Knights of Columbus since 2013.

Archbishop William Lori celebrates Mass in the Church of the Gesù in Rome on Oct. 23, 2024.

Joseph, Did You Know?

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