The Practice of Being Present

Sept. 1, 2024

Limiting digital distractions helps families learn to listen attentively to one another and to God

By Jeanne Schindler

Sept. 1, 2024

Family having dinner together — skynesher/E+ via Getty Images

Last spring, we took our family to a stage production of Prince Caspian. The acting was exceptional, and the audience was enthralled. Well, most of the audience. A teenage girl in front of us was in her seat, but she wasn’t there. She was on her phone — the whole time. When Aslan roared at the climax of the drama, she didn’t flinch. She didn’t even twitch. C.S. Lewis’ profound message about justice, honor and the battle between good and evil was just so much background noise.

If the sights and sounds of a dramatic stage production aren’t enough to spark our interest, it suggests that important things are being jeopardized by our attachment to screens, especially the smartphone screens in our pockets. Two of these are an awareness of our surroundings and a capacity for sustained attention.

A modest first step in recovering awareness and attention is for families to cultivate a habit of presence, starting at the table. We can treat family dinner as a privileged time when we practice being present to each other — without digital distractions. If we begin the meal, even a simple one, by giving thanks together, it helps us to be aware of God’s presence, too. We can then converse, listening and sharing about the highs and lows of our day, in a context that is connected to transcendence.

The habit of presence, of being aware and paying attention, is crucial for Christian discipleship. Think of how often the Scriptures enjoin us to keep watch, to be on guard, to wait for the Lord. To do this, we must take steps to quiet our minds, turn off the noise around us — visual and audible — and allow God to speak to us.

This recalls a scene from a different Narnia story, The Silver Chair. Its heroine, Jill Pole, ventures out of the school gate and into an enchanted world. She is struck by the beautiful sky and colorful birds. Their singing is magical, but behind the birdsong is an “immense silence,” out of which comes the voice of the Lion. Because Jill’s ears become attuned to the silence, she can hear it. Aslan speaks with authority, and he gives her a great mission — to rescue the prince of Narnia. Each of us also has a mission, but we need the ears to hear what it is.

*****

JEANNE SCHINDLER is a homeschooling mother, fellow of the Pontifical John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family in Washington, D.C., and co-founder of “The Postman Pledge,” a low-tech initiative for families.

Supper at Emmaus (oil on canvas) by Rembrandt (1606-1669) (Photo Josse / Bridgeman Images)

The Practice of Being Present

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