Fatherhood is not flashy. If we were all still farmers in a simpler time, this would perhaps not bother us so much. The work-to-reward ratio in farming is significant. Till, sow, fertilize, harvest, eat. Repeat.
Fatherhood is like that. Pray, feed, play, discipline, teach, love, encourage — all in the hopes of harvesting an adult who is, God-willing, strong, responsible, virtuous and who loves you back. But in a digital world of instant gratification — measured by views, likes and shares — waiting to reap the rewards of fatherly labor can be difficult.
The richness of the reward makes the work, in the end, laughably small in comparison. But there is no shiny trophy, no formal recognition. Rather, it is often a subtle reward that fills our lives with profound meaning.
I remember vividly one such moment with our third son, Liam. Together with other dads and sons and one remarkable priest, we hiked down into the Grand Canyon — over 10 miles each direction. At age 11, Liam hiked with buddies on his own; I barely saw him. I don’t even like hiking, but we do these things because we love our children, and we’re “farming.”
On the last night of our campout, as the sun had nearly set and the stars began showing their unmuted glory, our priest led us dads in a fatherly blessing over our sons. Liam grew very quiet as Scriptures were read, and when we placed our hands on our boys’ heads in prayer, he began to breathe hoarsely. “I love you, son,” I said. “I bless you. I bless you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Sp—” Completely unexpectedly, my son did not let me quite finish. He surged forward, hugged me fiercely, and wouldn’t let go for what felt like a full two minutes.
Suddenly, any thought of the blisters on my feet, tiredness, the wondering if anything I did resonated in his heart, disappeared. Here was a blessing, part of the fatherly reward.
Not flashy, but far more meaningful than any award for a mantle or trophy case. Fast forward to today, and this son will marry a wonderful young woman this month. And it is even more evident to me now that the work of fatherhood is a molehill; the reward from God, a mountain. Here’s to farming.
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MIKE PHELAN is director of fraternal leadership development for the Knights of Columbus and a member of Father Marcel Salinas Council 11536 in Mesa, Ariz. He and his wife, Sharon, have six children.







