No one likes to fail. Men — especially husbands and fathers — definitely don’t like to fail. So don’t fail. Learn.
It might sound overly simplistic, but we can take “failure” off the table and treat the outcome — positive or negative — of anything we undertake as an opportunity to learn. Our identity is not fundamentally about what we do, but who we are — adopted sons and daughters of God. Looking at what we might consider a “failure” or a “success” as the next lesson the Lord has for us enables us to detach our tasks — and how well they go — from our sense of self-worth.
In our daily examination of conscience and especially in life’s major disappointments, we need to cultivate the discipline of discernment. Consider keeping some of the following questions at the top of your list: How did this outcome align with my expectations? Which of my expectations were fair or unfair? What can I learn about myself from this experience? What could I do differently the next time to foster a better outcome?
By intentionally choosing to learn, we can help motivate ourselves to embrace the autonomy and resilience God gives us rather than wallow as victims of circumstance or fate. Self-understanding, not self-pity, can help us become unstuck and move forward on the journey to become who the Lord calls us to be.
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DANIEL J. CELLUCCI is the president and CEO of Catholic Leadership Institute. A Knight since 2021, he lives with wife and four children in Malvern, Pa.








