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class="col-article__title"> <h1 > <div class="rich-text "> To Live With Joy </div> </h1> </div> <div class="col-article__date"> <time>May 1, 2024</time> </div> <div class="col-article__subtitle"> <span > <div class="rich-text "> Fostering an emotional connection with your spouse and children is an essential task of marriage </div> </span> </div> <div class="col-article__byline"> <span>By Andrew and Sarah Swafford</span> </div> <div class="col-article__date-mobile"> <time>May 1, 2024</time> </div> <section class="col-article__featured "> <figure class="image-block-wrapper"> <picture><source srcset="https://files.kofc.org/images/assets/2024_05+For+Your+Marriage.jpg/89803f04979311ef9144aece4ba995e3?width=900&height=506" /><img src="https://files.kofc.org/images/assets/2024_05+For+Your+Marriage.jpg/89803f04979311ef9144aece4ba995e3?width=900&height=506" alt="A happy family" loading="eager" class="img" decoding="auto" width="900" height="506" /></picture> <figcaption class="caption"> <div class="rich-text "> Prostock-Studio/iStock via Getty Images </div> </figcaption> </figure> </section> <section class="col-article__content-rich-text"> <div class="score-rich-text-block default default"> <div class="content-area "> <div class="rich-text "> <p>In working with college students over the years, we have noticed that a significant number of young people — including Catholics committed to living out their faith — are skeptical about marriage, especially the idea that a joyful marriage is possible.</p> <p>Many have watched their families fall apart, and they’ve taken notes. Even if their parents stayed together, they often have a sense that Catholic marriage is inevitably marked by conflict, tension and a lack of warmth. While our society tends to reduce love to a simple emotion or mere feeling, it seems that some people have overcorrected: They think of love solely as an act of the will, neglecting the importance of emotion within marriage and family life.</p> <p>Love and sacramental marriage do require an act of the will. As St. John Paul II wrote, true love “wills the good without limits” for the other. Marriage is very sacrificial. But spouses must also cultivate an affective, or emotional, connection with the other. This is key to a warm and joyful marriage. And studies have shown it is central to raising children, especially if we wish to pass our faith on to the next generation.</p> <p>As parents, we give an unspoken witness. If we commit to doing the little things to build emotional unity, our children will notice — and will remember that joy as they discern their own vocations. In short, we must make an act of the <em>will</em> to connect <em>emotionally</em> with our spouse and children. We choose to love Christ — and love Christ in others — even during tough times, to pray for and with each other. Being intentional can make all the difference.</p> <p style="text-align: center;">*****</p> <p>ANDREW and SARAH SWAFFORD speak frequently around the world on dating, marriage and the moral and spiritual life. Andrew is a member of St. Benedict’s College Council 4708 at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kan., where he is a professor of theology.</p> </div> </div> </div> </section> </section> <section class="col-article__related-articles bg-colorExtraLightGrey"> <section class="article-card-block container"> <section class="article-card-block__title content-grid"> <h1 class="article-card-block__title__text grid-col-full text-left">Related Articles</h1> </section> <section class="article-card-block__cards content-grid"> <div class="article-card"> <div class="article-card__image"> <a href="/family/marriage/2026/01/the-seasons--of-marriage/"> <picture><source srcset="https://files.kofc.org/images/assets/Snow+on+a+sunny+day.jpg/Zz0zZjhjYWQzMGVjMGUxMWYwYmZlM2I2MGE3OWUyZjUwNw==?width=318&height=212" /><img src="https://files.kofc.org/images/assets/Snow+on+a+sunny+day.jpg/Zz0zZjhjYWQzMGVjMGUxMWYwYmZlM2I2MGE3OWUyZjUwNw==?width=318&height=212" alt="aphrodite74 / E+ via Getty Images" loading="lazy" 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<div class="article-card__details__category"> <a href="/family/marriage/"> <h3>Marriage</h3> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details__title"> <a href=/family/marriage/2025/07/marriage-makes-men-of-us/> <h2>Marriage Makes Men of Us</h2> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details__title-mobile"> <a href=/family/marriage/2025/07/marriage-makes-men-of-us/> <h2>Marriage Makes Men of Us</h2> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details__by-line"> <p>By Joseph Pearce</p> </div> <div class="article-card__details__teaser"> <p>The measure of true manhood lies in the willingness to give up one’s life out of love </p> </div> <div class="article-card__details__teaser-mobile"> <p>The measure of true manhood lies in the willingness to give up one’s life out of love </p> </div> </div> </div> <div class="article-card"> <div class="article-card__image"> <a href="/family/marriage/2025/06/love-bears-fruit/"> <picture><source srcset="https://images3.cmp.optimizely.com/assets/DomesticChurch_ForYourMarriage.jpg/Zz03ZmVmMzcyNjNjYTUxMWYwOGY4ZDZhYzZjZTU4NDI4Ng==?width=318&height=212" /><img src="https://images3.cmp.optimizely.com/assets/DomesticChurch_ForYourMarriage.jpg/Zz03ZmVmMzcyNjNjYTUxMWYwOGY4ZDZhYzZjZTU4NDI4Ng==?width=318&height=212" alt="DomesticChurch_ForYourMarriage.jpg" loading="lazy" decoding="auto" width="318" height="212" /></picture> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details"> <div class="article-card__details__category"> <a href="/family/marriage/"> <h3>Marriage</h3> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details__title"> <a href=/family/marriage/2025/06/love-bears-fruit/> <h2>Love Bears Fruit</h2> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details__title-mobile"> <a href=/family/marriage/2025/06/love-bears-fruit/> <h2>Love Bears Fruit</h2> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details__by-line"> <p>By Leigh and Carter Snead</p> </div> <div class="article-card__details__teaser"> <p>Carrying the cross of infertility with Christ can become a path to unexpected gifts</p> </div> <div class="article-card__details__teaser-mobile"> <p>Carrying the cross of infertility with Christ can become a path to unexpected gifts</p> </div> </div> </div> <div class="article-card"> <div class="article-card__image"> <a href="/family/marriage/2025/05/the-bridegroom-of-our-souls/"> <picture><source srcset="https://images4.cmp.optimizely.com/assets/Wedding+at+Cana/Zz1iYWUwMTM1ODQ4NWYxMWYwOTU5NGUyNGVkYTlhYjhmMw==?width=318&height=212" /><img src="https://images4.cmp.optimizely.com/assets/Wedding+at+Cana/Zz1iYWUwMTM1ODQ4NWYxMWYwOTU5NGUyNGVkYTlhYjhmMw==?width=318&height=212" alt="Wedding at Cana" loading="lazy" decoding="auto" width="318" height="212" /></picture> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details"> <div class="article-card__details__category"> <a href="/family/marriage/"> <h3>Marriage</h3> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details__title"> <a href=/family/marriage/2025/05/the-bridegroom-of-our-souls/> <h2>The Bridegroom of Our Souls</h2> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details__title-mobile"> <a href=/family/marriage/2025/05/the-bridegroom-of-our-souls/> <h2>The Bridegroom of Our Souls</h2> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details__by-line"> <p>By John Cuddeback</p> </div> <div class="article-card__details__teaser"> <p>In the sacrament of marriage, we are called to be a living sign of Christ’s love for the Church</p> </div> <div class="article-card__details__teaser-mobile"> <p>In the sacrament of marriage, we are called to be a living sign of Christ’s love for the Church</p> </div> </div> </div> <div class="article-card"> <div class="article-card__image"> <a href="/family/marriage/2025/04/where-love-rejoicespage/"> <picture><source srcset="https://images4.cmp.optimizely.com/assets/April2025_DomesticChurch_Marriage/Zz03ODM4YjRkZTNkOTExMWYwOGNhYzIyMmU4NjJjOGJmYg==?width=318&height=212" /><img src="https://images4.cmp.optimizely.com/assets/April2025_DomesticChurch_Marriage/Zz03ODM4YjRkZTNkOTExMWYwOGNhYzIyMmU4NjJjOGJmYg==?width=318&height=212" alt="Smiling woman hugging her husband on the couch from behind in the living room" loading="lazy" decoding="auto" width="318" height="212" /></picture> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details"> <div class="article-card__details__category"> <a href="/family/marriage/"> <h3>Marriage</h3> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details__title"> <a href=/family/marriage/2025/04/where-love-rejoicespage/> <h2>Where Love Rejoices</h2> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details__title-mobile"> <a href=/family/marriage/2025/04/where-love-rejoicespage/> <h2>Where Love Rejoices</h2> </a> </div> <div class="article-card__details__by-line"> <p>By Rolando Moreno</p> </div> <div class="article-card__details__teaser"> <p>A strong marriage requires that we intentionally cultivate a loving relationship with our spouse</p> </div> <div class="article-card__details__teaser-mobile"> <p>A strong marriage requires that we intentionally cultivate a loving relationship with our spouse</p> </div> </div> </div> </section> </section> </section> </main> <div class="jump-to-top-btn"> <button type="button" class="scrollToTopBtn"> <svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-labelledby="backToTopTitle backToTopDesc"> <title id="backToTopTitle">Back to top</title> <desc id="backToTopDesc">Click here to scroll back to the top</desc> <circle cx="11" cy="11" r="11" transform="translate(1 1)" fill="#fff" opacity="0.65" /> <g transform="translate(0.375 0.399)"> <g> <path d="M0,11.8A11.8,11.8,0,1,1,11.8,23.6,11.814,11.814,0,0,1,0,11.8m21.529,0A9.728,9.728,0,1,0,11.8,21.528,9.739,9.739,0,0,0,21.529,11.8" transform="translate(0 0)" fill="#626161" /> <path d="M14.648,27.369l6.579-6.579,6.579,6.579L26.34,28.834l-5.113-5.113-5.113,5.113Z" 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