Christian marriage is “a great mystery” rooted in Jesus and the Church (Eph 5:32). A wife beloved by her husband and a husband respected by his wife together are endowed by God with true kingdom-building power. When spouses invest the time and effort to grow continually in intimacy, they not only experience a joy-filled marriage but also participate in the Church’s saving mission.
Because of sin, however, we have to learn how to nurture an intimacy unique to our marriage. This is naturally easier or harder during certain stages of married life. Seasons of desolation bring feelings of disconnectedness, while seasons of consolation help us with their gifts of openness and warmth. Thankfully, God uses both desolations and consolations to unearth deeper places in our hearts to discover and share.
In our marriage ministry, we offer practical suggestions to foster deeper intimacy: First, take the C.A.K.E. Stay emotionally open to your spouse, even during times of conflict, by approaching them with curiosity, appreciation, kindness, and eye contact.
Second, choose the most charitable interpretation of a situation, conflict or hurt. Finally, practice gratitude. When you’re tempted to shut down or run away or fuss and complain, stop immediately and name 10 things you’re truly grateful for about your spouse.
Most importantly, remember that it is God who brings spouses together in this mysterious adventure of marriage. And it is he who is supplies the love, respect and intimacy our hearts crave.
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DAMON AND MELANIE OWENS are founders of Joyful Ever After. Married for 31 years, they have eight children and three grandchildren. Damon is a member of St. Patrick Council 15346 in Kennett Square, Pa.






