In the sacrament of matrimony, God gives each spouse a unique tool for sanctification. It is the gift of the other person — intentionally designed with differences. The very person who once seemed “perfect” may soon begin to feel like “sandpaper,” rubbing us the wrong way. But such abrasion, rather than a polarizing problem, is truly part of God’s plan to smooth our rough edges, humble us, and help us become the saints we are called to be.
The concept of “spousal sandpaper” is not meant to be derogatory but helpful. The differences, frustrations and conflicts that arise between husband and wife are not signs of failure or falling out of love. They are inevitable and must be accepted with much patience — and humor — as invitations to grow in love. These moments become real opportunities for deeper intimacy, communion and trust.
Knights are called to be men who lead with virtue, modeling how to love well. Small acts of love and forgiveness, often hidden and unnoticed, are the very building blocks of a holy marriage. This means embracing the everyday call to holiness through the ordinary joys and struggles of married life — the daily opportunities to “die to self” and sacrifice for the good of one’s wife and family.
The more a husband includes God in his marriage — through prayer and reception of the sacraments — the more he will witness grace at work. Even the hardest edges can become instruments of transformation. In time, what once felt abrasive becomes part of the polish.
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STEPHEN COLELLA is cabinet secretary for Parish Life in the Archdiocese of Miami and a member of St. Mark Council 13045. He and his wife, Kari, co-founded Annunciation Ministries: Evangelization Through Marriage.






