My wife and I each came into our dating relationship with strong prayer habits, so we naturally assumed we would enjoy deep spiritual unity after the wedding. We figured the fruits of our prayers and the graces of the sacrament of matrimony would allow us to soar hand in hand above all the miscues and disappointments typical of the first few years of marriage. This was, of course, naive, and we soon fell prey to the usual tripwires and pitfalls.
Ironically, the deepest division and heartache came about because of our individual spiritual lives.
We were grateful that we did not have difficulty conceiving children, but this gratitude quickly gave way to a fear of being overwhelmed as God continued to bless us with more. As we became aware of the limits of our trust in him and in each other, we each responded in unhealthy ways. We yearned to be on the same page, but often felt as if we were in different books.
As I began to lean more deeply into prayer as a way through the difficulty, my wife became increasingly resentful, since it seemed my prayerful discernment always led to more challenges. In turn, I resented being hampered by her fears and limitations. I wanted God to “fix” her. But he made it clear that he had given her to me as a companion, and that we were meant to bear our shared cross and come to him together — not merely on our own.
We began praying together openly and spontaneously on a regular basis. As different as we are, and as vulnerable as it might make us feel, we learned that nothing brings greater intimacy. And now, when God responds, we rejoice in his faithfulness together.
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DAVID DAWSON is an independent ministry consultant and speaker. He and his wife, Kate, live with their 10 children in Thibodaux, La., where he is a member of St. Genevieve of Paris Council 13397.







