Adventures in Ordinary Love

July 1, 2026

The daily responsibilities of married life can strengthen the bonds of friendship between spouses

By Jared Zimmerer

July 1, 2026

A couple cooks together. — adamkaz / iStockphoto via Getty Images

With six kids at home, my wife and I rarely find time for quiet, uninterrupted conversation. Most of our talks happen while doing dishes, cooking supper, folding laundry or tending to our children. We discuss household needs, schedules, money and prayer — and sometimes simply enjoy each other’s company. But after almost 20 years together, we have learned something important: If we do not make time for those moments of love and communication, they will not happen on their own. We can become distant, not because love has disappeared, but because life has crowded it out.

Love is often portrayed as spontaneous, and sometimes it is. But like many good things, love also thrives on discipline. The small, unnoticed habits — cleaning bathrooms, listening when tired, praying together, forgiving quickly, kissing your spouse before leaving the house — form extraordinary love through repeated acts of self-gift.

There is a myth in our culture that love should be effortless and constantly exciting. But the strongest marriages I know endure because husband and wife choose, day after day, to embrace the mundane.

G.K. Chesterton often saw adventure hidden within ordinary life, and I think he was right. In Orthodoxy, he writes, “Ordinary things are more valuable than extraordinary things; nay, they are more extraordinary.” In a world marked by betrayal, lies and sin, a holy marriage becomes a quiet rebellion. A faithful husband and wife exemplify extraordinary virtues: loyalty, forgiveness, sacrifice and friendship.

Marriage is a school of virtue, and its lessons are learned through faithful repetition. The chores, the conversations, the prayers, the kisses at the door — these are not water to the fire of love. They are where love is made real.

*****

JARED ZIMMERER is the content marketing director and Great Books adjunct professor for Benedictine College in Atchison, Kan., where he lives with his wife and six children. He is member of St. Francis of Assisi Council 7099 in Grapevine, Texas.

Adventures in Ordinary Love

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