Meekness, Not Weakness

June 1, 2024

As sons of Mary and of the Church, Catholic fathers have a responsibility to lead their children to an encounter with God

By Supreme Knight Patrick E. Kelly

June 1, 2024

Supreme Knight Patrick E. Kelly (Photo by Michael Collopy)

The month of June is dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, a centuries-long devotion which celebrates Christ’s love for humanity. The Sacred Heart has deep meaning for all of us and special significance for the vocation of husbands and fathers.

In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus tells us: “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart, and you will find rest for yourselves” (11:29). This passage tells us much about Christ’s heart, but here I would like to focus on his self-description as meek — and how the virtue of meekness, contrary to popular belief, is a masculine virtue.

Meekness is a commonly misunderstood virtue. If we think of it as timidity or passivity, we miss the mark. The word in Scripture is often translated as gentleness, which is much closer, but even that doesn’t quite capture its full meaning.

Meekness is not weakness. Quite the opposite; it is a sign of greatness — and of real strength. It’s the virtue that allows a person to apply one’s strength in the right way. According to St. Thomas Aquinas, meekness “moderates anger according to right reason” (Summa Theologica II-II, q. 157). Meekness comes into play most when we are under pressure or feel threatened. It can be seen in how we react during moments of conflict. Meekness gives us a self-possession that helps us control our anger, so that we do not make matters worse or, more importantly, hurt those we love.

Anger is certainly a normal part of life, including family life. And anger can often be justified. But it’s a passion that, if left unchecked, can inflict great damage. It can destroy human relationships and create divisions among spouses, parents and children that can last for years, even generations.

Meekness, on the other hand, is a unifying virtue. “The meek,” according to Pope Francis, “are those who know how to control themselves, who leave space for others, who listen to them and respect their needs and their requests. They do not intend to overwhelm or diminish the other, they do not want to tower over or dominate everything, nor impose their ideas or their own interests to the detriment of others” (Angelus address, Nov. 1, 2020).

Meekness gives us a self-possession that helps us control our anger, so that we do not make matters worse or, more importantly, hurt those we love.

Meekness is an essential virtue for Knights of Columbus and for all husbands and fathers. It is the virtue that allows us to master our passions and exercise authority in such a way that helps our families flourish. When correcting our children, we need to choose our words carefully, recognizing their unique vulnerabilities while also reminding them of their God-given dignity. This is important because our children’s perception of God will be shaped largely by their interactions with us.

Meekness is also important in marriage. It helps a husband and wife keep the channels of communication open as we give and receive constructive criticism. We will learn much from our spouse if we can keep a cool temper and listen with an open mind to the truth of what the other has to say.

Finally, meekness helps us put up with the failings of others. “If we are constantly upset and impatient with others,” Pope Francis explains, “we will end up drained and weary. But if we regard the faults and limitations of others with tenderness and meekness, without an air of superiority, we can actually help them and stop wasting our energy on useless complaining” (Gaudete et Exsultate, 72).

A meek husband is a strong husband, just as meek father is a strong father. In treating others with meekness, we imitate the Sacred Heart of Jesus — and we confirm in our wife and our children their most fundamental identity, that they are loved by God.

Vivat Jesus!

Meekness, Not Weakness

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